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December 19, 2010

Venti Girl Gift Guide: The Cougar

Cougar Much to her daughter's chagrin, she prowls Forever 21 for dresses like a wild animal on the hunt for her prey. This Botoxed bombshell has a closet full of Louboutins leaving very little of her alimony check left for anything else. Still, this sex kitten manages to find dresses that fit as tightly as her divorcé budget. Who cares if she snares them from the discount teen emporium at the mall? She's dressed to kill. And who can blame her, with that body she sculpted thanks to a disciplined diet and a fitness program designed by David Kirsch himself (hey, if it's good enough for those Angels...). She'll swear it's just good genes, but we know full well it takes medical science and a team of trained professionals to keep a girl looking that good. Fear not, her "cheap chic" fashion sources and her plastic surgeon's appointments can be her little secret. After all, a girl is entitled to a little mystery.

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