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May 06, 2010

Rise to the Occasion

Audrey_hepburn_in_breakfast_at_tiffany_s_LargerView This morning as I took a walk I was thinking about personal standards. What's completely acceptable to one person may seem outrageous to another. In life, we typically stay within the range of what we feel is "acceptable" to us. You stay pretty close to the weight and level of fitness you feel meets your image of yourself... your standards. You date, marry and befriend people you feel are like you or "on your level." Subconsciously you live at the income level or professional level that you think you "deserve" in life. The image in your mind you have of yourself and your life is indeed the life you live. If you don't believe that, you're living in blissful denial.

So... what happens when what you want, isn't what you currently have? You must change your mind. You must alter what you find acceptable. You must raise your standards. That's right... change your mind and you'll change your reality. Stick to it... decide exactly what you want to achieve or experience... determine WHY you need or want that to be your reality... and then figure out what you need to do to get there. But this is no time for autopilot. You have to take consistent action - or at least have constant focus on the goal - to get there.

The good news is this: once you raise your standards the rest is easy. For example, I would never, ever cheat on my spouse. Never have.. never will. It's unacceptable to me. So is a filthy house or an out of shape body. These images just don't fit the image of myself I have in my mind. They are beneath my personal standards. It's just something I don't ever think about because it isn't part of my personal mental image of myself. Those beliefs I hold, those self portraits in my mind cause me on a consistent basis to focus on my husband workout and clean my house. Silly examples.. but you get my point. My standards for myself cause me to do certain things but not others. If I raise my standards I'll improve those situations. Make sense?

The same could be said of any element in life. Are you behaving in a way you don't like? Are you living beneath your personal capabilities or potential? Are you coasting along living a life someone else has mapped out for you? Are you limiting your own potential? This isn't about others around you. This is about you... you as an individual. Your friends may have different standards. Your peers might not be destined for the same greatness you'll achieve. Your job isn't to "fit in" with those around you... your obligation to yourself and to the world is to be the best that YOU can be.

So... are you doing that right now? Are you living up to your own ideal? Are you focused on the right things? Are you working towards your ultimate oals in life? If not... why? Maybe... just maybe it's time for you to raise your standards.

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What the beautiful people are saying...

I think this is an ongoing process. Sometimes its easy to "settle" or just be okay with the status quo rather than striving for more.

OMG - I needed that; reality check. I try, boy do I try, but I feel like I'm a huge work in progress. I know I keep myself from being who I want to be out of self-doubt. Thanks Franki, you are an inspiration and wise gal. xxx

Deborah, Im so glad you liked it!

Im not sure why... but I feel a series of similar posts coming on... I needed the kick in the pants too!!!!


I'm with Deb, I soooo needed this. Well said!!

Looking forward to more. ;)

As a new and devoted reader of your blog, it's obvious you're one fun, fabulous lady with great style, but this post and one earlier was very thought provoking and has certainly earned my respect in a whole new way. Thank you!

Two huge margaritas into the evening, two beautiful children asleep...one suicide note composed... and then I read your post.
You are right. I can do better. I can BE better.
I can get help.

Franki well said - very inspiring. I have this discussion quite often with a few of my close friends as well as with myself. It takes a person with strength to set their own expectations for their own life and not follow society's and based on your description, seem to be someone with such strength. Beautiful post. Have a lovely weekend lady! =) (was the comment just above sincere? I'm concern a bit.)

To I'd rather not say... I sincerely hope you'll consider reaching out to someone. I'd love to email with you or talk by phone. Life is TOO good to let your current experience take over. You CAN create a different life. You CAN make major changes. Thank you SO much for reading and caring enough to comment!!!

We love you!!!!!

I love hearing from like minded people. I'm a true believer in the mantra, "You are what you think."

I've watch my own life dip up and down, and it's always a byproduct of getting out of my groove, or back in.

The strange thing is that, no matter how much I think I have it down...I slip. I have to re-read and remind myself that in the end, it was up to me. (for the most part)

It's magical in a way, but so close to our faces that's hard to see. Thanks for your inspiring posts.

As I was reading your post I was nodding my head the hole time and if I would be alone I would scream out "Man, you are so right!". Your post really touched me and I noticed one more time, how urgent it is to change myself into the person I want to be. It's time to take action! Thanks!

This is the best thing I've read for sometime! Thank you for the challenge and the inspiration. I have been on a journey for a while now, shrugging off the small thinking of others for me and my life and raising the bar. Thanks for the cheering me on.

You know what...?
Maybe it is.

Thanks for another inspirational post ;)

Once again, right on time, Franki...right on time. THANK YOU!!

Something to say, gorgeous?

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